We had another ultrasound this morning and there was no change that we could see. We didn't see a doctor, just the tech, so I am sure if there was any significant change, the Doc would call and let us know. They again tested her movements and breathing patterns. She didn't move much even after lots of poking and prodding, but from the breathing movements she was making, it seemed like she was asleep! I personally think it was a good thing that she slept right through all the stimulation, maybe this means she'll be laid back...and another good sleeper!
I've still been thinking a lot about HELP over the last few days. I found the words to the song we sang in church, so I will post those at the end (basically Psalm 121). Today I just feel humbled. You see, I come from a family of 'doers.' That's how I was raised...my mom and grandmother (especially) are always doing for others... to the detriment of themselves sometimes (which they would never elude to.) It is hard for us to simply accept help and blessing without feeling like we need to do something in return.
Ironically, this idea has been on my mind for the past few months... I remember having a conversation with my mom when she needed help a few months ago and it went something like this:
Mom: "No, I'm fine, I can really handle this, I don't need help."
Me: "Mom, no man is an island, we were not meant to go through life alone. That is what the body of Christ is for... we were made to help each other, when one falls, another can pick them up! And sometimes we just need to accept some help!"
She may not remember this conversation, but I just remember longing for her to KNOW that I wanted to help, that others wanted to help simply because we loved her and because we were called to do so. I wanted to convey to her that accepting a blessing is as pleasing to the Lord as blessing someone else.
So, now I am preaching this to myself! I am absolutely in awe and humbled at the number of people who have already brought us meals, who have signed up to do so, those who come over on a daily basis to help with Grace, and those who are offering up prayers on our behalf. So much of me wants to think of things to do to repay the favor. I am wracking my brain to figure out what I can do while either sitting or lying down to repay what people are doing for me.
Here we are back at just accepting the blessing..... All of these things are answered prayers from the Lord. I just need to get on my knees and start offering up some praise rather than try to figure out what I can do in return. I need help (that's hard for me to admit) and the Lord is providing, he is hearing and answering prayer through each of you!
Ecc. 4:9-12 (NLT) "Two people can accomplish more than twice as much as one; they get a better return for their labor. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But people who are alone when they fall are in real trouble. And on a cold night, two under the same blanket can gain warmth from each other. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back to back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple braided cord is not easily broken."
Thank you all for everything you are doing for our family! We appreciate it beyond what you can know! I know that there will be opportunities in the future for me to bless others, just as I have been blessed. So now I will just be thankful!
Here are the words to the song that is still running through my head. If you can find a good southern gospel version, it will rock your world... it's awesome...
Try this link: Ron & CeCe Winans and choir
It's a long version, but a good one....I'm not the most internet saavy, so if this link doesn't work, search on YouTube for "My Help Ron & CeCe Winans" and I'm sure it will come up!
My Help
I will lift up mine eyes to the hills
from whince cometh my help
my help cometh from the Lord,
the Lord who made heaven and earth.
He said he would not suffer thy foot,
thy foot to be moved
the Lord which keepeth thee
He will not slumber or sleep
Oh the Lord is thy keeper
the Lord is thy shade
upon thy right hand
upon thy right hand
No, the sun shall not smite thee by day,
nor the moon by night
He shall preserve my soul
even forevermore
chorus:
My help, my help, my help
cometh from the Lord
Monday, November 24, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Thursday Morning....
We had another ultrasound this morning to check the heart again as well as do a movement test. They measured how much she moved as well as practiced her breathing in a certain amount of time. She scored an 8 out of 8... so that's great.
The MFM (Maternal Fetal Medical Doc) came in and said that the fluid around her heart has actually decreased from what it was yesterday and the day before. The heart is still enlarged, but the fluid is decreasing, which seems to be a good sign. This is also more evidence that the problem has been caused by some kind of infection or virus that I have come in contact with. No lab results yet, so they still don't know if I have a current virus or infection, there are so many things they are checking for that it could take a week or so to get it all back. If I do have an active infection shown by the blood work, they will probably induce to get the baby out of that environment.
We toured the NICU today and the nurse took us around to show us other babies that are around the same gestational age as our baby is now, she kind of told us what to expect when she is born and about her possible stay there. That NICU is so nice, brand new and the nurses seemed wonderful.
We are home now! Praise the Lord... but it's a little weird to be here and not be able to do anything... like pick up socks off the floor, take out the trash etc... but I guess I should take advantage of it! I am sure when the baby actually does come, I will be wishing I could go on bedrest...right?
I will have twice weekly ultrasounds with Maternal Fetal Med, and see the OB once a week. They want to follow the baby so closely so that if she does go into heart failure, or the heart's function decreases, or it continues to enlarge etc... we will be able to get her out as soon as possible.
We are just trusting God right now. There have been so many answered prayers thus far, and I know that the Lord will continue to amaze us. The hardest thing for me is that there are so many unknowns. I like to have my ducks in a row and know the possibility of certain things happening, or not happening... I like to research and find out all the possible causes, treatments and outcomes of certain situations. Maybe it's God's grace that even the doctors don't really know what's going on... It is forcing me to trust more fully in Him and not hang on every word the docs are saying. (which is what we should really do all the time, right?)
God has a plan for her life, knows her due date, knows exactly what is going on with her, and has had all her days recorded before time began...
Psalm 107:19-21
"Lord Help! They cried in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He spoke and they were HEALED- snatched from the door of death. Let them praise the Lord for His great love and for all his wonderful deeds to them."
How encouraging it is to know that just by speaking a word, God can heal. Why should we place our trust in anything else?
Thank all of you so much for all your prayers, love, food, and support. I could never express how much it means to us.
PS. you may get tired of my blogging...it won't hurt my feelings... it's just one of the only things I can do right now...just a warning, people!
The MFM (Maternal Fetal Medical Doc) came in and said that the fluid around her heart has actually decreased from what it was yesterday and the day before. The heart is still enlarged, but the fluid is decreasing, which seems to be a good sign. This is also more evidence that the problem has been caused by some kind of infection or virus that I have come in contact with. No lab results yet, so they still don't know if I have a current virus or infection, there are so many things they are checking for that it could take a week or so to get it all back. If I do have an active infection shown by the blood work, they will probably induce to get the baby out of that environment.
We toured the NICU today and the nurse took us around to show us other babies that are around the same gestational age as our baby is now, she kind of told us what to expect when she is born and about her possible stay there. That NICU is so nice, brand new and the nurses seemed wonderful.
We are home now! Praise the Lord... but it's a little weird to be here and not be able to do anything... like pick up socks off the floor, take out the trash etc... but I guess I should take advantage of it! I am sure when the baby actually does come, I will be wishing I could go on bedrest...right?
I will have twice weekly ultrasounds with Maternal Fetal Med, and see the OB once a week. They want to follow the baby so closely so that if she does go into heart failure, or the heart's function decreases, or it continues to enlarge etc... we will be able to get her out as soon as possible.
We are just trusting God right now. There have been so many answered prayers thus far, and I know that the Lord will continue to amaze us. The hardest thing for me is that there are so many unknowns. I like to have my ducks in a row and know the possibility of certain things happening, or not happening... I like to research and find out all the possible causes, treatments and outcomes of certain situations. Maybe it's God's grace that even the doctors don't really know what's going on... It is forcing me to trust more fully in Him and not hang on every word the docs are saying. (which is what we should really do all the time, right?)
God has a plan for her life, knows her due date, knows exactly what is going on with her, and has had all her days recorded before time began...
Psalm 107:19-21
"Lord Help! They cried in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He spoke and they were HEALED- snatched from the door of death. Let them praise the Lord for His great love and for all his wonderful deeds to them."
How encouraging it is to know that just by speaking a word, God can heal. Why should we place our trust in anything else?
Thank all of you so much for all your prayers, love, food, and support. I could never express how much it means to us.
PS. you may get tired of my blogging...it won't hurt my feelings... it's just one of the only things I can do right now...just a warning, people!
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Not much news...
Not much new news today... that's why I added a few pictures. I have been moved out of Labor and Delivery into the High Risk Antepartum unit... They took another ultrasound this morning and we haven't really heard anything new yet.
They did measure the baby's growth again today and today she measured 4 oz bigger than yesterday, so now 4 pounds 8 ounces... Maybe Jesus gave her some mana from heaven because Lord knows I wasn't allowed to eat anything....
I don't know if I mentioned this in the previous entry, but they also think that one of her feet, the right, I think may be slightly in-turned...similar to Grace's... (but much more mild). We aren't really worried about that, especially since Grace came out looking like some kind of amphibious creature and she is fine now...The heart is the bigger issue for us... But no news on that front yet.
I am not sure how much longer I will be here....Surely I'll get to go home tomorrow, but we'll see. If we hear anything from the doctor, we'll let you know. Just continue to pray for healing and God's guidance as to what the doctor's should do...
Grace is doing well, she is hanging out with Izze and Papa right now, she goes to school tomorrow... She has been over here every day at some point and is totally obsessed with going up to see the babies in the nursery with the 'tiny diapers.' If she's here at the hospital for 2 hours, she's got to go up there at least twice...it's cute. Today they let her ride on my lap in a wheel chair to see them. I think yesterday or the day before, she got to see a baby just wheeled in from birth getting his first bath... she was thrilled. Of course she thought it was so funny that he was "nakee."
We'll update with any new news!
Thank you so much!
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Savior, He can move mountains.... He is mighty to save...
Well, we got some unexpected news this afternoon shortly after my last blog post. The Maternal Fetal Medical Doc (I think that's what he was)...came in with the nurse, very unexpectedly, and wanted to talk to us. Chris was not here, he had gone to pick up Grace from school, but luckily mom was here with me.
We had an ultrasound earlier today to measure the size of the baby (around 4 pounds 4 oz... good according to my OB doc, contrary to what we'd previously heard)... and during the procedure we noticed the lady taking a lot of time to look at the heart... The tech didn't mention anything about it, so we didn't worry.
The Doc came in and told us that he was concerned about the size of the baby's heart. He said that in relation to the size of the chest, it is enlarged. Since this was not present in the 20 week ultrasound, he suspects that I contracted an infection at some point and it caused the baby's heart to have to work harder...which in turn caused some enlarging.... It is working and pumping blood perfectly, and he is not worried about that... but the size is something to keep an eye on. (for all the medical gurus out there, this is my lay-mans explanation)
He feels like the preterm labor may be related to this... and said that sometimes a woman's body goes into labor if there is a problem or an infection....especially if there are no other risk factors for preterm labor and if any previous pregnancies have gone full term.
So, how do I feel about all this? Well, actually, I'm doing OK... Last night before the effects of the 'devil medicine' hit again I was replaying in my head, a song we sang at church Sunday... hence the title...
I don't know the proper way to credit the song, but I think it's from HillSong...
Here is the verse that has been in my head since Sunday:
Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.
Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.
The only thing that we can do right now is claim this! There is a little saying at Strong Tower: God is good ALL THE TIME... and ALL THE TIME God is good. I believe this... So I am really OK. Things are going to be well, and the Lord has already planned it all out...
Sunday we sang a song about needing help from the Lord....I can't remember the lyrics or I would post them... but Pastor just asked people to come up who needed help...for anything... that's really all of us.....big things, little things, we all need help...and He's ready and desires to help us. So I really have a peace...
They are going to do another ultrasound tomorrow to check things out again... if I don't have the baby tonight. We'll keep you posted.
Just pray that the Lord would heal anything that may be wrong with the baby's heart, that we would have a peace and that it would all be OK. You know, with God's medicine, there are no side effects! I'm DONE with side effects at this point...as you can imagine...
The only part I am really worried about is the actual labor... Just pushing and not knowing what will be on the other end...so to speak...Pray for peace with the actual delivery also, whenever that may be.
Thanks so much for interceding on our behalf!
We had an ultrasound earlier today to measure the size of the baby (around 4 pounds 4 oz... good according to my OB doc, contrary to what we'd previously heard)... and during the procedure we noticed the lady taking a lot of time to look at the heart... The tech didn't mention anything about it, so we didn't worry.
The Doc came in and told us that he was concerned about the size of the baby's heart. He said that in relation to the size of the chest, it is enlarged. Since this was not present in the 20 week ultrasound, he suspects that I contracted an infection at some point and it caused the baby's heart to have to work harder...which in turn caused some enlarging.... It is working and pumping blood perfectly, and he is not worried about that... but the size is something to keep an eye on. (for all the medical gurus out there, this is my lay-mans explanation)
He feels like the preterm labor may be related to this... and said that sometimes a woman's body goes into labor if there is a problem or an infection....especially if there are no other risk factors for preterm labor and if any previous pregnancies have gone full term.
So, how do I feel about all this? Well, actually, I'm doing OK... Last night before the effects of the 'devil medicine' hit again I was replaying in my head, a song we sang at church Sunday... hence the title...
I don't know the proper way to credit the song, but I think it's from HillSong...
Here is the verse that has been in my head since Sunday:
Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.
Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.
The only thing that we can do right now is claim this! There is a little saying at Strong Tower: God is good ALL THE TIME... and ALL THE TIME God is good. I believe this... So I am really OK. Things are going to be well, and the Lord has already planned it all out...
Sunday we sang a song about needing help from the Lord....I can't remember the lyrics or I would post them... but Pastor just asked people to come up who needed help...for anything... that's really all of us.....big things, little things, we all need help...and He's ready and desires to help us. So I really have a peace...
They are going to do another ultrasound tomorrow to check things out again... if I don't have the baby tonight. We'll keep you posted.
Just pray that the Lord would heal anything that may be wrong with the baby's heart, that we would have a peace and that it would all be OK. You know, with God's medicine, there are no side effects! I'm DONE with side effects at this point...as you can imagine...
The only part I am really worried about is the actual labor... Just pushing and not knowing what will be on the other end...so to speak...Pray for peace with the actual delivery also, whenever that may be.
Thanks so much for interceding on our behalf!
Baby Burton Update
Most of you know that I am in L&D right now... I thought I'd post an update on what happened and what's going on now.
Chris and I came into triage on Sunday night (my birthday...lovely)... after my contractions at dinner were 3-5 min apart...After about 2 hours in triage I had dilated 3 cm...so I was in labor...
We checked in and I was given a steroid shot for the baby's lungs and hooked up to magnesium...aka "THE DEVIL DRUG." I thought I was dying... I was convulsing, sweating, I felt like by body was on fire from the inside out and your eyeballs kind of feel like they are swollen and crossed... it's awesome...This slowed the contractions, and I was hooked up for around 24 hours...
Last night I was given another shot of steroids for the baby's lungs...They did an ultrasound this morning and estimate that the baby weighs around 4 pounds 4 ounces...I am still in L&D because the contractions haven't really stopped, but hopefully will be moved to antepartum (sp) sometime today... and I will probably go home tomorrow.
The most awesome news is that I will be on bed rest for around 2-3 weeks... (KIDDING, PEOPLE!)..... This to me is similar to being put in jail... I mean, first of all... lest we not forget, my firstborn who has many needs that can't be met by sitting on my hiney in bed...And the fact that I can't physically stay in my house for more than half a day without having to go somewhere...or do something.... I am kind of ADHD for those of you who don't know...
Praise the Lord that I have great friends and family that are willing, ready and able to help and I know things will work out...but THIS. IS. GOING. TO. BE. REALLY. HARD.!
I'll update later if I can!
Chris and I came into triage on Sunday night (my birthday...lovely)... after my contractions at dinner were 3-5 min apart...After about 2 hours in triage I had dilated 3 cm...so I was in labor...
We checked in and I was given a steroid shot for the baby's lungs and hooked up to magnesium...aka "THE DEVIL DRUG." I thought I was dying... I was convulsing, sweating, I felt like by body was on fire from the inside out and your eyeballs kind of feel like they are swollen and crossed... it's awesome...This slowed the contractions, and I was hooked up for around 24 hours...
Last night I was given another shot of steroids for the baby's lungs...They did an ultrasound this morning and estimate that the baby weighs around 4 pounds 4 ounces...I am still in L&D because the contractions haven't really stopped, but hopefully will be moved to antepartum (sp) sometime today... and I will probably go home tomorrow.
The most awesome news is that I will be on bed rest for around 2-3 weeks... (KIDDING, PEOPLE!)..... This to me is similar to being put in jail... I mean, first of all... lest we not forget, my firstborn who has many needs that can't be met by sitting on my hiney in bed...And the fact that I can't physically stay in my house for more than half a day without having to go somewhere...or do something.... I am kind of ADHD for those of you who don't know...
Praise the Lord that I have great friends and family that are willing, ready and able to help and I know things will work out...but THIS. IS. GOING. TO. BE. REALLY. HARD.!
I'll update later if I can!
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
My dad, the supehero
Today we went to the zoo with some friends, it was a blast... but I'll get to that in a minute. I've got to tell a funny story about Grace... imagine that.
She and I stopped off at a thrift store on our way, as we were waiting in the check out line, I saw that they had some Predators schedules sitting on the counter. I picked one up and said:
"Grace, look! What's this?"
She took the schedule out of my hand and with a deep breath and her chest all poked out, she looked at the clerk and proudly said:
"MY DADDY DOES THAT....!!!!!"
The clerk thought that she meant that her daddy played for the team and said... "Oh, he plays for the Predators! Is he good?"
Grace responded before I could open my mouth to clarify...
"YEA, he's REALLY good. He's REALLY, REALLY good at Pred-ers..."
As my friend Katie reminded me later as I recounted the story to her: It begins early with girls... the mentality that THEIR daddy is the best and coolest and is REALLY good at everything. It was so cute to see her so proud as she told the clerk that HER daddy did that!
Anyways, back to the zoo.... This is officially the greatest place at the zoo for toddlers. This outdoor 'room' padded everywhere, and perfect for jumping and of course playing ring around the rosey!
I LOVE the pure joy on grace's face as she is about to fall down.
And of course, very fascinating to kids who are potty training... watching the elephant go pee-pee. To which, Corbin responded afterward..."Hey mom, now does he get a sucker?" The kid's a thinker....
Monday, November 3, 2008
Fall Back....?
Can I just vent for a moment. Yes, this may be related to the pregnancy hormones pumping through of my body... I can find a reason to bitch at almost anything right now... but humor me here...
What the heck is daylight savings time for (or excuse me, Daylight SNATCHING time)? I mean, I can understand why increasing the length of the day may save some sort of minuscule portion of energy, but when it comes to the winter months, don't we make up for the tiny amount of energy saved by blowing out our electric meters with all the lights we have to use because it's dark at 5pm....on a good day.... not to mention the amount of HEAT we have to use to warm up our houses that could be somewhat heated by the sun... if it were still out?
Come on people, as a nation, we would save more money if we just left the day long... think of all the people who go into depression this time of year, I am sure the suicide rate goes up, and the amount of children that are being abused goes up...all because the stupid day is too short to do anything with. Parents who want to enjoy a nice afternoon outside with their kids after nap CAN'T do so anymore... therefore the kids are whiny inside and the parents are ready to pull their hairs out one by one....which of course, leads to the beating I was referring to earlier.... Not to mention that those very children have woken up an hour earlier because of the blaring sun in their window at 5 freeking am! Not a good combination, folks....
(HUMOR, people, don't turn me in...)
OH, and how wonderful is it to be roused out of bed at such an ungodly hour by the blaring sunlight that is bellowing into YOUR window..... NOT so wonderful, mind you. Let's talk about how much more dangerous it is to drive in the dark than in the daylight... so the government is putting all of our hard working spouses at a greater risk of dying because they are driving home from work in complete darkness.... think of the number of accidents that could be prevented!
I am positive that the health of the nation deteriorates this time of year, because all those afternoon exercisers can't do so anymore unless clad in day-glow reflective material (which probably is radioactive and causes cancer) with a headlamp and several flashlights for safety. They don't want to be hit by a car... or mugged...depending on what part of town they live in. People eat more because they are depressed, they are more stressed because the day seems so much shorter and they have no time to get anything done... and their overall temperament goes down the crapper (as demonstrated by this blog entry).
Who's with me here? I think that we should petition for change...that sounded so political... but all I can say is whatever idiot came up with the 'Fall Back' concept was clearly in a state of altered consciousness when they decided this was a good idea.
I'll end the blog with a picture of the 31 week belly, since many of you have asked to see it. I mean, at least I have a reason to get fat this year......Now I need to go console myself with some candy corn and pretzels...maybe some chocolate pudding.....
What the heck is daylight savings time for (or excuse me, Daylight SNATCHING time)? I mean, I can understand why increasing the length of the day may save some sort of minuscule portion of energy, but when it comes to the winter months, don't we make up for the tiny amount of energy saved by blowing out our electric meters with all the lights we have to use because it's dark at 5pm....on a good day.... not to mention the amount of HEAT we have to use to warm up our houses that could be somewhat heated by the sun... if it were still out?
Come on people, as a nation, we would save more money if we just left the day long... think of all the people who go into depression this time of year, I am sure the suicide rate goes up, and the amount of children that are being abused goes up...all because the stupid day is too short to do anything with. Parents who want to enjoy a nice afternoon outside with their kids after nap CAN'T do so anymore... therefore the kids are whiny inside and the parents are ready to pull their hairs out one by one....which of course, leads to the beating I was referring to earlier.... Not to mention that those very children have woken up an hour earlier because of the blaring sun in their window at 5 freeking am! Not a good combination, folks....
(HUMOR, people, don't turn me in...)
OH, and how wonderful is it to be roused out of bed at such an ungodly hour by the blaring sunlight that is bellowing into YOUR window..... NOT so wonderful, mind you. Let's talk about how much more dangerous it is to drive in the dark than in the daylight... so the government is putting all of our hard working spouses at a greater risk of dying because they are driving home from work in complete darkness.... think of the number of accidents that could be prevented!
I am positive that the health of the nation deteriorates this time of year, because all those afternoon exercisers can't do so anymore unless clad in day-glow reflective material (which probably is radioactive and causes cancer) with a headlamp and several flashlights for safety. They don't want to be hit by a car... or mugged...depending on what part of town they live in. People eat more because they are depressed, they are more stressed because the day seems so much shorter and they have no time to get anything done... and their overall temperament goes down the crapper (as demonstrated by this blog entry).
Who's with me here? I think that we should petition for change...that sounded so political... but all I can say is whatever idiot came up with the 'Fall Back' concept was clearly in a state of altered consciousness when they decided this was a good idea.
I'll end the blog with a picture of the 31 week belly, since many of you have asked to see it. I mean, at least I have a reason to get fat this year......Now I need to go console myself with some candy corn and pretzels...maybe some chocolate pudding.....
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