Monday, February 23, 2009

Resident Rant

We are going home today! Yea! Probably sometime in the early afternoon. Praise the Lord. Harper did great last night, no desats... but she's got her days and nights mixed up. She's been wide awake since 3:45am... she's been in a great mood, talking, cooing, smiling and has been enthralled with some colorful balloons that 'Nanny Em' brought by. (no, we don't have a nanny... that's just a good friend of mine who is a nanny for a living!) The sleeping thing worries me because before we came in, she was very close to sleeping through the night. (10p-4:30a) I am just dreading more sleepless nights! (Pray that she'll go back into her normal routine very quickly!)

Anyways, back to the title of the post. A little disclaimer: I've been awake since 3:45am, I haven't gotten more than 2.5 consecutive hours of sleep in about 5 days, and I'm generally a really awful person to be around with no sleep.

Disclaimer part deux: I fully understand and realize that in order to have good health we have to have doctors, and to have doctors we have to have interns and residents, they do study a lot, sleep a lot less, and try to be good at what they do... BUT...

Here's a little note to residents, interns and the like from a parent who cares:

*First of all, smile, greet your patients, or parents of patients like they are living human beings..... they are not a text book, or a dummy, or a cadaver...

*It doesn't impress us when you say the word 'order'... "I will order that, or order this...etc" and according to the nurses, there's not a snowballs chance in hell that you know how to get in the computer and actually 'order' something anyways.

*If you are going to come in the wee hours of the morning, after I've just gotten my child to sleep; un-swaddle her, disrobe her, and put all kinds of cold instruments in places I don't like to think about; for the love of Pete, PLEASE put her clothes back on, swaddle her back up and give her the passie when you are finished. Just because she came out of my you-know-what doesn't mean that I am the only one who can do that... And PLEASE have the decency NOT to wake a sleeping parent to do this for you!

*If, by chance, you discover a poopy diaper in the midst of the aforementioned routine, PLEASE wipe the child's butt and clean her up before you put another diaper on her. (Or maybe you'd like her to get a rash so you can 'order' some desitin)

*Just because you can "slap a tube up her nose" or "throw in an IV" doesn't mean that you should, and more importantly, that it's necessary.

*Please treat the nurses with respect, they do more for their patients that you can ever know... and you are not on a cloud above them and the rest of America. Your poop looks just like ours after your coffee in the morning. Just remember that.

*Don't treat the dads with less respect. "Where's the Mom...?" is NOT the first question that should come out of your mouth in addressing them. Sometimes the mom's need a break and it's the good dads who actually give them one.

*Don't you take some classes on bed-side manor? Well, in my opinion, those are the most important classes. When you are spouting off your textbook to me in a monotone voice, gazing a little to the right of my face, it really doesn't impress me and frankly just frustrates me. Give me information that I can actually use and care to hear. And do it with a little inflection in your voice so I know that you are not a robot.

*If you are trying to comfort a baby, don't shove the passie in their mouth and hold it there against their will. It doesn't work.

Whew... I feel better... If I think of anymore... I will add them, but for now, this has helped my mood tremendously...

Ok, so my child is screaming in the bed, and I have another one coming in a few minutes, one husband leaving to go to a meeting. I have to go... I can't escape into bloggie world any longer... at least not right now.


sweet&spicequeen said...

cute! grace looks so caring and concerned.. glad things are going better.. hope harper starts feeling better and things start going more smoothly soon!

Anonymous said...

My favorite part was the bit about the coffee poop. This little manifesto of yours should be posted in every on-call room at Vandy! And may I just say that I think you're funny and sassy all the time but particularly so when you're tired.

Shannon said...

THAT was a brilliant post, my dear!! :)

Praying you get some sleep soon!