Friday, April 3, 2009

Season

I've been hanging onto this word for several weeks now. Season, it is one of promise and hope, a reminder that things will not stay as they are forever; that things will change, sometimes for better, sometimes for worse; it conjures up images of growth, renewal, happiness and sometimes heart ache.

The past 8 weeks or so have been frustrating, draining and hard. Mentally, I've been fighting off feelings of discontentment and discouragement. I can't put my finger on a particular reason. I've asked the ladies in my Bible study to pray that I will enjoy the girls, that I will enjoy this SEASON of my life and cherish the moments because things won't be like this forever. And honey, when these ladies pray about something, you better be ready for an answer, because they will storm the gates of heaven on your behalf.

The day after I shared my request (this was a couple weeks ago now) the posture of my heart and mind began to change. I am not longing quite as much for 'something else,' I am becoming content in the place where the Lord has me right now. I am not feeling inadequate because I am not 'out there making a difference in the world.' I am feeling more fulfilled by God and in my role as a mom and wife. For some reason I never thought I'd be the "stay at home mom type," and maybe I'm not... but I am feeling like this is where I need to be for this moment. The truth of the matter is that it is only a MOMENT, a SEASON. In less than 5 years, both of the kids will be going to school, and my days won't be filled with the things that they are now. In some ways, that sounds refreshing to me, but it's also a realization that this time is so short!

I have a hard time convincing myself sometimes that God is glorified in the tasks of motherhood as much, if not more than in the pursuits of a career... How could piles of laundry, scrubbing poop out of the carpet, and endlessly picking up the house be glorifying to God? I have to remind myself pouring into the lives of my children will impact them forever. The mundane things that I am doing all day and night are shaping their hearts and minds in ways they may never know. No one knows, or frankly cares about how many times I've scrubbed the toilet, or how many clothes I've folded, diapers I've changed... But God knows.... and it matters to Him.

I am just clinging to the fact that this time in my life is a SEASON... and when the kids are in elementary school, or (...CRINGE..) teenagers....I will probably long to just hold them, rock them, and hear "A is for Apple, B is for Borbin... and D is for doodle-bug" (even for the 1000th time).

So my prayer will continue to be that the Lord would make me aware that all this matters to Him; that each day I get with these kids is a blessing, and it is only a SEASON, time that I won't get back once it is gone.

Ecclesiastes 3:1
" There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven."

2 comments:

Chelle said...

And God, as Father, totally gets it. I go through the same thing. But then, I get the honor (challenge?) of being the first and major influence in my daughter's life. I am the one she'll first hear Jesus' name from, and that my friend, is a huge ministry in and of itself: to raise children who have a heart for God.

katie said...

"No one knows, or frankly cares about how many times I've scrubbed the toilet, or how many clothes I've folded, diapers I've changed... But God knows.... and it matters to Him."

I teared up when I read these words. Thank you for writing them. I think I am going to be referencing this post often over the coming weeks/months.